Jerome was born in the Burmese jungle, where his five brothers and five sisters cleared the dense forest to grow poppies. Unlike his five brothers and five sisters, Jerome did not develop a taste for the black goo that they harvested, instead spending his time playing soccer with the inmates of the village prison. Many say that this is where Jerome learned to run so fast, and also squeal with great gusto when someone was on his tail.

Never afraid to explain how hard he tries, Jerome was a force that could not be stopped against Rostrevor earlier in the year. Sure the score was 10-1, but ‘I try hard’ made the left wing his own, skinning players like budding poppy flowers. After this performance, Jerome was courted by Graeme and seduced to play in the A’s defence. Jerome’s man-marking was so tight, some opposing players were leaving the pitch more aroused than they should have been at that time of the day.

The Whites feel that there is enough love for Jerome to return to the fold next year, with expectations so high, that Jerome will just have to try harder.