Round one of the Collegiate Soccer League saw ‘Le Glamour’ pitted against the blue scurge of Unley.  New strips, new sponsors and a decent looking ‘Stade Blanc’ surface greeted the boys in white.

True to their word about not changing a winning side, Hot Fuzz’ named the same starting eleven from the previous weeks Cup game. That was until our diminutive angry Argie withdrew with a mysterious sphincter related injury.

Text message received at 0835hrs Friday 17th April 2015 ‘It hurts when I squat, just ask the wife. It feels like I have sat on a broken bottle coach’.

Losing Juan to injury was a blow but this season has seen ‘Hot Fuzz’ blessed with a squad of significant depth (some say it rivals Steve Bresolin’s pockets), experience and a tiny smattering of talent.  Expecting the obligatory tough physical and verbal assault that accompanies Unley (home and away)  ‘Hot Fuzz’ dusted down club stalwart Grandpa ‘Hoppy’ and prepped him for battle.

Based on the subsequent performance of ‘Hoppy’ the blue jersey of Unley is to him what a red rag is to a rampaging bull. Needing no further motivation to ‘crunch’ a few of the opposition more fuel was added to ‘Hoppy’s’ fire when he learnt that his much coveted #13 jersey had been snaffled by a pimply pre-pubescent new comer to ‘Le Glamour’.

From the first whistle ‘Le Glamour’ tore into Unley. First Liam and then Ian Hendrie found the back of the net in quick succession.  Liam’s opener owed much to his quick feet and a succession of nut-megs (including one on the keeper).  The second was straight off the training ground as a quick break down the Unley right saw Ian Hendrie tuck away a cut back from the impressive Liam.

At two nil and in total control ‘Le Glamour’ displayed their charitable side by switching off and letting Unley back into the game. Three chances were created in quick succession as our midfield got caught out pressing high up the pitch.

On each occasion ‘Big Dan’ excelled with quality saves, the third of these actually leading to a ‘Le Glamour’ break away goal.

After Big Dan pushed away a shot that was heading into the bottom left hand corner, ‘Hoppy’ seized in the loose ball and broke down ‘Le Glamour’s’ right flank.

Ian Hendrie was set free by ‘Hoppy’ and after leaving three Unley players floundering in his wake, he rounded the keeper (took the piss) and finished with ease.

Goals four and five followed quickly after but due to the torrential rain, subsequent poor visibility, the onset of hypothermia and a technical issue with an umbrella I missed (Matt Bates) two goals.  All I do know is as Matt could be heard muttering ‘Anything Richie can do I can do better’.

Half time and five nil to ‘Le Glamour’.

The second half saw ‘Le Glamour’ focus on maintaining possession and protecting the teams clean sheet. As Unley pressed in search of a goal gaps began to appear. Ian Hendrie grabbed his third and ‘Le Glamour’ sixth from a well worked short corner before young Chris added the seventh and best of the bunch.

Having replaced ‘Hoppy’ at right back, young Stewie Smith linked up well with Damo ‘One shot too many’ Holoubek on the right. Having played a one-two with the team’s resident light weight Stewie sent over an inviting cross and Chris duly applied the finish with a bullet header.

Seven nil it finished. The song was sung with a degree of gusto and Unley (as a Club) were sent packing as the Whites rolled off four wins from four.