Hot off a resounding victory VS Grads Reds the week before and having survived a mid-week change in management, the Uni Whites C’s (the new beating heart of the Glamour) took to the putting-green-cum-swamp of Sacred Heart’s home ground to do Sat arvo battle.

Despite rumor that cops only eat donuts and beat up hippies, the new C’s brains trust of Matt Haywes and Jacko (herein referred to as HOT FUZZ) had cleverly put together their golden line up. I say golden because so many of its members are in their twilight years. For this is a team of polarities – made up of extreme youth and extreme ‘experience’, where pimply kids play alongside the chalky-boned aged. But it worked and something clicked (other than Richard Harris’ knees).

The long absent Crab Gayen had polished his Copa Mundials, and dragging his Jon George induced hangover took up position in d-midfield next to fellow pensioner and this match reports humble storyteller. Up front Huddo and Harris. Max and Shaun our young chickens on the wings were ready to sprint. Keeping goal the Jurassic Tim-Bo. The back four line-up of Juan, George, Bocky and Cam was further indication of Hot Fuzz’s youth-academy VS colostomy-bag experiment. The walking heart attack in black blew his whistle and the first half began.

The Whites took charge early and making a couple of rampaging runs saw some decent crosses put into the box. Gayen’s eyes lit up as the memories of a  thousand football seasons flooded his cerebral cortex – this was a man possessed. A 40ft Alonso-esque through ball found sprinter-Shaun, who in trademark style streaked towards the goalmouth with dastardly intent. 1-Zip.

The ball bobbled and slopped in the swampy center circle as the Heart tried in vain to pump long bombs to their hapless striker. Bocky and George rose to meet every ball, winning the aerial challenges and out sprinting any threat. The opposition had a couple of chances, which they fumbled like a virgin at a bra-strap. We were guilty of some overplaying in the back but mostly did well taking short balls from gatekeeper Lev and working it out of defence.

Cam Hopgood who has seen excellent form in