More Vale Ail for Greys – Division 4B

The week after Uni Grey pinched a point of the Cobras had been a hectic one all round. Skinner and Dools had been fending off calls from Man U, Chelski, Man Schitty and Everton due to recent team results. The team themselves had trained like champs but come Saturday…

Our only weakness! WATER! And there was lots of it.

McLaren Vile coming from what is essentially a hole in the ground, are somewhat used to the winter floods. Uni, unused to significant aerial precipitate, had legitimate fears of solubility and miscibility. Moreover, recent studies in the hydropsychosomatic field have shown homo sapiens exposed irregularly to airborne moisture will develop negative reactions to said presence. Educated and highly attuned university students are most susceptible to these legitimate phenomena.

Long story short, it was raining and we lost.

That being said, we were unlucky. Mechlaren Vale was lucky enough to receive an early penalty. Jacob was unlucky enough to have arms and the presence of the ball in his vicinity triggered a penalty call. Dools in GK had 98% of the goal covered but the wily MacLaren hole dweller chose his only weakness, straight down the middle. Vole got a second shortly after from a ‘kinda ok’ cutback to a ‘kinda quick guy’ running through a ‘kinda vacant’ area. The keeper had 83% of the goal covered, but unfortunately down the middle was again unprotected.

Half time. Skinner was inundated with calls from Bayern and PSG, looking at their options, while the rest of the team debated the merits of trying harder. Eventually after mucho discussionado Uni decided that they’d play better in the second half.

Midfield upped their game early with Seamus doing tricks and Gaku doing flips. Hannay had set up a Stalinesque regime of sharing the ball round and Uni were benefiting. Davey and Pistol talked it up and ChriSaville started making runs up the wings. The only thing left was for the forwards to put the ball into its home. FFS send the ball home.

Flynn was his usual destructive self, making Vale ail all over the place, and Sammy C and Huss both put in a thrilling shift. We just couldn’t find that breakthrough. Skinner on the sides decided to make changes after hanging up on Florentino Perez. Anish and Simon entered the fray and the ‘Mcklaren’ finally buckled. Anish able to poke the ball past the keeper with the ‘pokiest of toe pokes’.

Uni kept up the pressure but just couldn’t penetrate. It was like an episode of Channel 7s Revenge. Eventually some fool committed a heinous foul a couple metres outside of the box, giving M’Laren an offensive free kick. Having recruited Gareth Bale just for the occasion McLoren got the G. Dools had 96% of the goal covered and despite a 1.2m vertical leap (AIS record)