After the zany antics of the B’s, the Grey A’s entered the field of battle wary of the Iggies menace.

Captain Primer continues to defy the laws of probability with a coin toss win percentage of 25, even though we tell him to ‘just pick tails’. The pitch conditions were average; though you’d think it’d be easy to keep a 10 by 5 patch of grass relatively even and flat. There was a ref.

Uni and Iggies were very evenly matched early in the game. Major differences between the two teams included:

– collective weight of Iggies to Uni, being roughly 2:1
– Iggies had a 7 foot giant playing right-back
– Uni on the whole MUCH better looking
– Iggies had a dude that could throw ~20m.
– Uni had a dude that can recite Pi to 26 decimal places (Foster) (For those of you playing at home, it’s 3.14159265358979323846264338)
– Uni play the beautiful game.
– Iggies play like Stoke on a rainy night.

Div 4A men v Old Ignatians (1-2 loss)

ANYWAY. Relatively even first half. Uni got a sexy breakthrough after some precise trigonometry on the right wing led to a Foster break down the flank. He swung a beckham-esque cross across the face of goal making Flying Mikey dive full stretch for the header goal.
A special goal it was too…. Little did Mikey know that Andrew Nunn has a carton of beer down for the first diving header goal in Div 4. PAY UP NUNN. While celebrating, the G Foster subtly called someone the D. Yellow card to Foster. Lead to Uni.

Unfortunately for everyone’s heroes (Uni) stupid Iggies replied shortly. Uni’s defenders were playing like Italy circa 06 but luck went against us. A lame run down the left wing left Rajan 1 on 1 with a dirty winger who viciously pushed Rajan over then preceded to kick the ball directly at his hand several times. The ref (who was present) awarded a penalty after the 5th or 6th “ball to hand” probs due to sympathy. Keeper Davey managed to get 3 of 5 fingers on the spot kick, which was 2 fingers too few to deflect it out. Sad days.

Half time = Philosophical discussion on what we are trying to achieve in soccer and how people respond to different on field stimulus. Also did other stuff like drinking water.

Second half. The non-event of the half was another Iggies goal. Previously mentioned 9-foot giant right-back made his way up for a corner and while Uni put four defenders on him he still out leaped them all for an easy header. Seriously, we had Billy on Azz’s shoulders and he out leapt them both. Next time we’ll just employ the good old heinous foul.

The rest of the second half was all Uni. We had the ball, we had the style and we were playing like Essendon on peptides. We just couldn’t achieve the breakthrough. Despite numerous half chances and a couple posters, we couldn’t conjure anything in the box. Highlight of the second half was probably Aaron calling some dude a DIRTY DOG which could be heard roughly two blocks away. Nothing else awesome happened.

Grey’s register their first loss for the year. We blame it entirely on scumbag penalties and 11 foot behemoths.

Match report courtesy of SD.