Round 2 of the Collegiate Cup saw the Glamour take on Mt. Barker B. Confidence was high amongst the Whites following the dominant win against SHOC the week before and thoughts of a cup upset were at the forefront of everyone’s minds.

Very few changes were made by ‘Hot Fuzz’ (thanks Matt B) based on the win the previous week, with their hand only being forced by cup tied players (Sean and Stewie) and Richie having a double hip replacement. Chairman / CEO / GM / Where’s Wally Look a Like Lev returned to the D team to do his bit, stoically parking one of many buses and offering himself as a sacrificial lamb to the Pembroke A Juggernaut.

Even with the loss of four players, ‘Hot Fuzz’ still had the luxury of naming six on the bench and welcoming back Adam to the starting XI.

Fast forward 36 hours or so….

  • One Erection Tribute Band Member Dan G was poached by the B Coach, as a number of their regular players were cup tied or had succumbed to a series of life threatening and career ending ‘Ouchies’.
  • Adam ‘died’ at work keeping the safe streets mean.
  • Max the C’s pimply faced wing wizard embarked on a Friday night Law Society ritual that involved alcohol, running naked through the woods, several goats and a twig. Our right footed flyer was promptly slain by the aforementioned twig and sidelined.

Still no panic, strength in depth was the key and the C’s still had plenty on the bench. 11.30 am was the arranged meet at The Grads Oval. The tribe from up the hills had arrived in force as did a smattering of C Team players. At 12.15 Hot Fuzz were forced to reshuffle an already reshuffled starting XI. No substitutes apart from player coach Jacko and no idea where the bench was.

As kick off approached the boys lined up with Matt H between the sticks and the same back four (Juan, George, Leagues Leading Scoring Bock and Cam). Our midfield consisted of Crab (fresh from window shopping) and a ‘man flu infected’ Matt B in the centre, with Ben Bol Bol on the left and Matty G starting wide right. Ian and ‘Huddo’ lead the line.

Kick off and the message from Jacko was clear and simply ‘Contain these pricks for twenty minutes. They are going to come at you at 100 miles per hour. Nothing stupid’.

Fast forward 2 minutes….

One zip Mt. Barker as the Whites allowed them too much time and space.

The Whites woke from their slumber and began to stamp their authority on the game. Chances began to be fashioned and a combination of luck, the post, the goal line, poor finishing and goal keeper saw the Whites fail to find the equaliser. Crab, rising like a limp salmon beat all in in the air only to see his header hit the post roll along the goal line and be cleared to safety. Mt. Barker countered the beautiful game by lumping long balls forward to their African quick’s looking to exploit any space left by the Whites.

Half time 1 – 0.

A mad 10 minutes at the start of the second half saw the Whites implode and one quickly became four. ‘Let’s do these C#$TS 19 – 0’ was the cry from Mt. Barker (making reference to our Round 1 victory).

Master Bates then summed it up perfectly. Dragging his virus infected debilitating disease ridden frame back to the centre circle he uttered the inspirational words ‘Fuck it let’s just play some good football’. And we did…

From a corner the Whites were awarded a penalty. Ian converted with ease to give the score line some degree of respect. Mt. Barker kicked off, turned the ball over and within seconds Ben Bol was on hand to tuck away the Whites second. Could the impossible happen, could the Whites drag themselves back into the game?

Jacko began to ring the changes. Crab departed to continue window shopping with Manny slotting in next to the now dying Master Bates. Huddo made way up front, with Bol Bol moving up top and Rob S playing on the left.

In what can only resemble the come back by Colby’s Lads in Escape to Victory the Whites turned on the style. The ball was stroked across the hallowed turf of the oval with ease and Mt. Barker began to shit themselves. As Crab trudged to his car, Copas hanging from his shoulders pondering ‘Which window tonight’ Rob sauntered his way through the Mt. Barker defence to convert the Whites third.

Unfortunately there was to be no Pele-esque over head bicycle kick equaliser from the Whites. Chances came and went with both Bock and George millimetres away from connecting with corners to take the game to extra time.

4 -3 it finished. Mt. Barker relieved, the C’s gutted at having pushed a Division 1B side so close and on the balance of play probably deserved to be still in the cup.

High praise from the referee too commenting on ‘How well the Whites play football and don’t look like a C grade side’.

Plenty of positives to take into the league game next week but also some areas to work on:

  • Let your coaches know if you are running late.
  • Not every player will start or play in their preferred position. All we ask as a team if that you give your all. Every time you pull on the shirt of the Glamour give 100%, play for the club, the team, your team mates and yourself.
  • No matter the result or the performance remain positive, support your team mates and give encouragement. We play because we can and because we want to. We are not paid, we play for the love of the game. That’s It…

— Matt Hawyes