Round seven of the Collegiate League saw the Whites take on cross University rivals Uni SA at the Stade Blanc. Preparation for the visit of the second from bottom side was good with the C Team and distinguished guests having a midweek run out against SA Police on the artificial green baize at West Beach and securing a hard fought but deserved win. Based on the midweek performance ’Hot Fuzz’ were confident of knocking over Uni SA and bolstering the goal difference to boot, whilst burying the nightmare of the Rostrevor game in the process.

Even with injuries and fatigue due to all night World Cup viewing sessions, the Whites were able to field the majority of what has become a settled side this season. Most noticeable absentees were the Skipper Cam injured whilst legally kicking lumps out of a copper on Wednesday, and his defensive side kick Jack O. Having missed the midweek fixture against his colleagues with man flu, Jack O was raring to go. That was until Friday afternoon, when he over did things reaching for the last ‘Krispy Kreme’ at work and pulled a heart muscle, love handle and apparently his calf.

With the experience (old age) missing from the back, Richie Harris converted to centre back to play alongside George. Skipper for the day Juan switched to right back and Ollie ‘One foot’ Smith started on the left. The midfield quartet consisted of Maxie Soulsby, Master Bates, Leo and Robbie Scammell whilst Ian Hendrie partnered the returning (from injury) Fairuz up top.

Late cry offs from Adam (TV debut appearance) and Dan G with a viral throat infection which puts One Erections World Tour in doubt, lead to a reshuffle on the bench with Ben Bol earning a call up from the D’s to bolster numbers. Manny, the less softer of the two Gartner’s and Stuart Smith made up the squad.

And so to kick off.

Uni SA were a shambles with odd socks, odd shorts, some shirts, no shirts and a selection of training bibs and yellow T-Shirts which a very talented 5 year old had numbered using a crayon. Still our favourite referee aka the Baby Hippo was happy with the DIY designer kit. It kind of set the tone for the game.

Kick off and the Whites tried to settle into their game and control the ball and tempo. Unfortunately we couldn’t pass a parcel let alone the ball and the tempo for a scrappy first half was set. Uni SA shocked the Whites after some very comical defending (insert Benny Hill Music) gifted them the opener. Thankfully it spurred the Whites briefly from their slumber as first Fairuz with a looping header and then Ian with a shot (that broke the keepers hands and legs as it trickled through them) put the Whites two one up. A third quickly followed for the Whites and it appeared that we were in the ascendancy.

More charitable defending from the Whites (insert said Benny Hill music) followed and Uni SA pinched a second. Three two quickly became four two as Master Bates whipped in a cross that was cleared to the left hand side of the box. Waiting for it to arrive was the Whites very own Ollie ‘One foot’ Smith, more famed for sliced defensive clearances than 30 yard screamers. But with one fluid swing of his rather long and gangly right leg he sent an absolute screamer into the bottom right hand corner.

Fairuz then earned a penalty which was easily converted by Richie Harris. So impressed were Uni SA with Richie’s penalty technique that they decided to give him another go less than sixty seconds later. Up stepped the great man again. Same run up, no nonsense style, no shuffle or step over to do the keeper. Same spot as the first ‘Hot Fuzz’ thought, but Richie had other ideas. As he leant back and thought of Dave Forster beating him to the Golden Boot he sent the ball sky wards. Some $17.50 later and Adelaide Independent Taxis returned the ball from the South Park Lands.

Uni SA added a third as the Whites again displayed their charitable side (insert said Benny Hill music again). Five three, one of those games and one of those days (so far), but Saf was pleased to be getting value for money in the goal stakes and entertainment factor.

Half time and strong words were said. Our lackadaisical attitude and carelessness was making a very average Uni SA side look good. Play with the same level of enthusiasm and commitment next week against Unley and we would be hammered.

The second half was better from the Whites. Richie reverted back to his preferred position of striker with Fairuz making way, and Stuart Smith taking up the centre back spot. Chances came and went for the Whites in what was proving to be a frustrating day in front of goal. Ian eventually got his hat trick, getting on the end of a decent cross after good work down the right flank from Max.

Six three it finished, but with more composure and defensive awareness the score could have been a lot more with fewer conceded. Still another three points in the bag, four wins for the season so far and forth spot in the league. The next three weeks are massive for both the C’s and the Club with Unley, Pembroke and Mercedes the opponents. Now is he time to stand up and be counted. That’s it….

Fantasy Football Points:

  • Fairuz Jum’ee: 1 goal (2pts) 3 assists (6pts)
  • Matt Bates: 1 assist (2pts)
  • Richie Harris: 1 goal (2pts)
  • Ian Hendrie Jnr: 3 goals (6pts) & hat trick bonus (3pts)
  • Ollie Smith: 1 goal (2pts)
  • Max Soulsby: 1assist (2pts)